Love MY HEART day is TODAY!

My Lover’s Diary!  

 As I sat in church this morning, these words came into my mind “guilty pleasures”. Why they came while I was in church, I don’t know. I thought about the relationships I have. Could my relationships be a Guilty Pleasure?” I have to admit they bring much pleasure to my life. The guilt that follows the pleasure is overwhelming. I searched the meaning of “guilty pleasure”. The definition I found included a sense of shame, but there is no shame.

They spent over 2 hours on the phone. Brenda listened, he talked. He talked about his divorce, placing the blame on himself, saying he wanted to marry again. He talked about how his Dad taught him how to love a woman. He talked, she listened. He made her laugh, a good thing. Yes, he had a way with words. He was so winning her over.

He said he liked her looks; that she did not need to do much to look good. She pretended not to understand. He elaborated, “You could put a paper sack on and still look good”. It was corny, but she believed he meant it. She started to care.

How could she know his words were practiced, ones he used often. He studied women and played on their weakness. He portrayed himself a little eccentric. This added to the persona he built for himself. It worked.

He shared an incident about spending a night in jail to protect his family. It was a story he read as a young boy. He had used it so long; sometimes he forgot it was not his past. Believing he spent time in jail for his family’s safety warmed Brenda’s heart.

He won her over in that phone conversation, one he controlled. This was okay with Brenda. She assumed it was his way of letting her know who he was.

He started bringing little gifts to her office. He told her she was special to him. This was part of The Game because the unexpected gifts, a single rose, a boxed lunch, a beautiful book of poetry showed thoughtfulness. She had never owned a poetry book before. 

He opened a new door for her. 

This made her feel cherished.

 Shame that my relationship with the almighty God is in jeopardy, a conflict I deal with daily. This conflict grounded in my religious belief is the foundation of my faith. God will allow us to do what we want, BUT there are consequences for the choices.

18 Jupiter Lane

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